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Oct. 3rd, 2006 @ 01:53 am Shit
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: casey jones
Wow, i honeslty cant remember the last time i left a LJ entry... wow. i've just been thru so much lately i figured i just hafta update. so basically its been a crazy past month or so. where to start.
my father passed away on September 17th. it still feels weird to say it out loud, or even write it now. the shock of losing someone like ur father, for me, was uncomparable to nething other feeling. it completely blindisided me when i walked into my moms house and saw the cop standing there, and when he told me what had happened. it felt like a train hitting me actually. and then to find out how it happened, that he took his own life and hung himself. it actually made me vomit when i heard that. then the very next day to have to prepare funeral arrangements and everything else. but as hard as it was, i had ashley, for one, who was with me just about every second, i would have been so much worse off if she wasnt there. also my mom, who i got a whole lot closer to throughout this. and my friends to, who are abolutely unbelievable. jon weismann was the 1st person i told, online, the day i found out in the morning. and before i even told joe, his bags were packed. jon told him right away, and when i called him he told me he was leaving in a couple of hours to come home for the week, just to be there. i cant ask for a bettere friend then that. but everyone was amazing, and so unbelievably supportive, and just there for me 150%. i love you guys, and thank you. you have know idea how much u guys helped. (RIP Pops, i love you)

now on a better note, lol, ashley... i absolutely am in love with this girl. she was been so ridiculousy amazing, and i appreciate it so much. shes incredible. and like i said baefore, she was with me every second thru this thing with my dad, literally. she was there almost everytime i lost in and broke down. she is just so so so amazing, and i love her to death.

well i guess this entry should keep me full for a while... til next time.
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Aug. 8th, 2006 @ 02:22 pm Summer Recap
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: content
Current Music: aesop rock
well, its hard to believe but the summer is already coming to an end... it kinda sucks, it went by so fast.

basically, my summer was filled with romance, adventure, excitement, and danger... ok, well maybe not TOO MUCH danger. but anyway, its been alot of fun. Partying just about every night, finally getting jimmy out of his little shell(lol, i love ya bro), alot of great times with Ash, our two shows, with another coming up, a new job, different outlooks... its been kind of crazy actually, so much went on.

and not even just with me, alot of big things happened with ppl. kristen went to england, jess went to greece, amy and steph went... well somewhere really far away, lol. anyway, i think, or at least hope, everyone had an awesome summer, and lets do it again next year ladies and gents!!!
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May. 3rd, 2006 @ 03:20 pm Can't Wait for Summer
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: thursday
Only 17 more days til my two best buddies get home, especially jonny fuckin weismann!!! So thats pretty much what im looking foward to. As well as everyone else coming home: magee, cary, jess, everyone!!!

Yesterday was pretty dissapointing. We couldnt get tickets to see thursday cause it wa ssold out, so i missed them yesterday. The new zelda game got pushed back to october 1st, instead of yesterday. But then i saw a light shining down, right onto the best buy cd rack, illuminating "a city by the light divided", thursday's new album. so i bought that, and listenend to it over and over. its my least favorite thursday album, but its still amazing. later on i decided to check on thursdays myspace site, cause i was bored. there i discovered that thursday was having a "secret show"! they just released the info yesterday, saying it was a free show, in asbury park, new jersey. i immediatley did everything in my power to gather some ppl together to take a trip to jersey. cary was down, and everything seemed set. i was going to pick him up this morning at hicksville, and we were gonna drive out to jersey, and wait on line, making sure we got in. but of course this was shattered as well, when i called this morning to make sure he was up. i was greeted with a groggy voice, saying, "hey dude........................John, im not going." followed by his reasonings, that it was too much effort, when we could just pay to see them enxt time when they play closer. so yeah, today kinda wound up sucking, but oh well.

well, i supposed thats all for now... till nex time.
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Apr. 24th, 2006 @ 12:30 pm i hope your happy Jim
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: saves the day- stay what you are
Well, i havent updated in a long time, and had no real desire to either... but a certain someone, jimmy daleo, felt the need to demand that i update, so i am.

not much to update really. im really really psyched about somewhere safe's first show on friday, its gonna be great. we have been practicing as much as possible, getting everythign tight. jon smith left the band recently, which kind of sucks. there were no hard feelings, but that left us with one guitarist... at first we paniced, but after playing around, i think one guitarist will do just fine. me and dj worked alot with changing guitar riffs to our songs to make it sound good with one guitar. we also did alot with vocals, and some really cool things with back up vocals. so for those of you interested, FRIDAY APRIL 28TH, 7:00P.M., AT THE STONY BROOK CAFE, STONY BROOK UNIVERSITY!!!

yesterday jimmy, ashley, and i went and saw silent hill.... huge dissapointment... it wasnt scary, and not good either. but for like 2 hours before the movie, we introduced jimmy to guitar hero, which he was been trash talking for fun. but as soon as he played he got hooked, and played for 2 hours. dont know it till you try it, a phrase that can never be proven false.

other then that, not a whole fuck of a lot to report. till next time, whenever that may be.
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Mar. 27th, 2006 @ 11:00 am long time no see!
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: bullet for my valentine
i havent updated in what seems like forever, so here we go.

not much happened this past weekend. we got one more song down thursday at band practice, called "dr. pepper" so thats cool. oh, and we have a show at the stony brook cafe on april 28th!!!

friday night myself, kev, jon, cary, ruffini, ash, meg, and kelly all went to see v for vendetta, which was a pretty badass movie.

saturday i worked, and during work i lost quite a bet with kristen. we were bored, and decided to make a bet to see who could butter a bagel, make a coffee, and ring it up in the register quicker. if she lost, she had to put a really embaressing pic of her up on myspace as her default pic(check facebook for it :-)) for one week. if i lost, i had to put kelly clarkson's because of you as my myspace song, and an embaressing pic as my default for one week. needless to say, i lost by like a fraction of a second, lol. saturday night i went over to diggers for mrs. vandercreeks birthday party. and what a surprise to walk in and see matty there! he didnt tell anyone, and surprised everyone by coming, it was really cool. i also watche the boondock saints for the first time, and bought it... coolest movie ever. i think i can finally have a top 5 movies, lol... the neverending story, fight club, the boondock saints, pulp fiction, fear and loathing in las vegas.

sunday me, ash, jimmy and mel watched the boondock saints again, cause its just that cool of a movie. other then that, not much to report. til next time.
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Mar. 17th, 2006 @ 12:34 am Lights are on and the cameras click....
Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: Thursday- understanding in a car crash(live!!!)
soooo, im sitting here waiting for my taco bell to arrive, and im a tad bit druuunk. tommorow should be fun cause its st pattys day party at djs, and band practice!!! im just chillin right now, jon smith went to taco bell. so yeah, im really excited abut the party tommorow. i was kinda dissapointed certain ppl couldnthang out over here tonight, but theyll be here tommorow... ashley, cary, danille, hopefully theyll be herre. well i know ash will, so :-D. ooook im really drunkso im gonna go for now... enjoy the update! peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Mar. 10th, 2006 @ 03:17 pm Being the nice guy suuuucks
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: the receiving end of sirens
so yeah, i am currently chilling out in DJ's house... which ive been doing all morning, cause i got WASTED after band practice last night. and band practice today is at 5, so instead of driving all the way home im just chillin here today, with nothing to do, lol. its pretty sweet.

but yeah, as a band we decided to kick out Josh, the drummer. it is nothing personal, but he just cant play in a band... he's really good, but not with toher people. no one can keep up with him, or follow him. and jon said he had no problem telling him, but he hasnt yet. sooooo, that pretty leaves me and Dj to tell him. and i am the last person to do that, because i hate telling pl stuff, i feel too bad... so this should be fun.

last night at practice i sang, and it was awesome! the first time was ok, cause i was realllly nervous and what not. but then it got better, and Dj and Kev both told me i did an awesome job, and it;l sound really good with practice. but they both liked it alot. so we'll see what happens i guess... till next time, hope everyone has a good night, and gets as wasted as i will be later tonight ;-).
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Feb. 21st, 2006 @ 08:11 pm Every Night Spent Wishing You Were Mine
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Somewhere Safe- The Gray
havent updated in a while so i figured id recap on the past couple of days. Well, yesterday I took a trip to the mall w/ ashley and marissa. While there, I decided i was going to get my lip pierced! so, we left the mall and headed over to Lucky Cats Tattoos. Well, to make a long story short, I now have a pierced lip, and Kristen has a pierced tongue... crazy stuff... oh yeah im living with my Dad now, cause i cant take my moms bullshit anymore :-).

Today was a different story. Donna and I agreed to meet ad Borders after i got out of work to exchange certain things back, and just to chat. all day i was actually looking foward to it. because after all, i thought i was over her. i was looking foward to just chatting, and stuff like that. i got to borders, and sat down at the cafe to wait for her. everything was fine, up until i saw her walking towards me. As soon as i saw her face, all thos feeling i thought i had gotten over came right back. it was sooo awkward, but at the same time i didnt want to leave her. i couldnt look at her, but all i wanted to do was stare into her eyes. i could barely hug her goodbye, but all i wanted to do was grab her and kiss her. it wa sso confusing. and sitting in her car, all i wanted to do was talk, but i didnt know what to say. everything i ever felt for her immediatley came back. it almost felt like the breakup was happening all over again... the only difference this time was that she cried. in my heart id like to think that that meant something... along with her staring at me, carressing me, rubbing my neck, smelling me because she said she missed my smell... id like to think that all meant something... but i just dont know. what do i do?
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Feb. 13th, 2006 @ 01:07 am HAPPY BIRTHDAYS ARE FUN!
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Story of the Year- In the Wake of Determination
so yeah, this past weekend was quite fun. Friday night I went to djs with Ash and Megan(2 of 3 groupies, jk) for practice, and we recorded 4 tracks to put up on myspace finally. we recorded number nine, shattered faith, silhouettes, and the gray. all of the recordings came out really really really really good so im psyched to hear em on myspace!!! also, were talking about playing a show on Friday, February 24th, so be there for beer and music!!!

after practice, we got some beers, smoked a little, and once ppl came we headed out to a party on stony brook campus. it was alot of fun, there were alot of nice ppl... and free jello shots which me and dj took full advantage. we stood in the hallway and dj just kept taking them. and for every shot he took, he grabbed another one and gave it to me, making me have one too... well, it didnt take too much covincing. needless to say we were pretty fucked up, along with ash, megan, and alot of other ppl. as we were leaving, we realized that dj could not stand, lol. we walked outside and he had this urge to press the halp button outside the door. in his attempt to get to the button, he fell flat on his face on the ground, actually making a little cloud of dust come up... he just layed there and laughed, and i can honestly say i havent laughed that long or hard for a long long long time.

other then that nothing too exciting to report.

ps- CHECK US OUT ON MYSPACE! SOMEWHERE SAFE
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Feb. 8th, 2006 @ 10:59 am "Is What I Meant To You That Forgetable?"
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: The Shins
When you lose the one person that meant absolutely anything and everything to you, sometimes there is not a damn thing in the world to cheer you up, or make you feel like it's for the best... And you begin to constantly think about things like this:

The way she would try to tickle me and i'd hold her back easily but let her every now and then because it always led to staring into her eyes and kissing her. Staring into her eyes and realizing shes the most beautiful thing in the world and i wouildnt want to be anywhere else at that moment. Kissing her forehead and having her tell me how much she loves that. Calling me bum, jerkface, baby, babe, dork. The way she smelled when she first left her house to go out with me and the perfume was still strong. Kissing her and feeling as if time would stand still. Driving home to drop her off in silence, but telling her i love her just by squeezing her hand or rubbing her leg. The little peck kisses she would give all over my face. Kissing me while im in the middle of saying something just to shut me up. Falling asleep with her. Waking up to her. The great sex. Going to the movies just to make out. Knowing how much better a party or anything social would be because she was going to be there. Standing in the back of the movie theater for 5 minutes because neither of us wanted to choose where to sit. How hard it was to pretend to be mad at her even kidding around because i would much rather be kissing her or holding her. Holding her. Carressing her face and her hair and having her close her eyes. Lying in my car with the seats back. Looking up at the stars hoping to catch a shooting star because it meant so much. Talking on the phone. Telling her how much i love her. Telling her how much i miss her and cant wait to see her. Being there just to listen and not say a word while she talked about problems because thats what i was there for. Making her smile right after she was crying just by telling her she had a booger in her nose. staring at her picture on her night stand every night before going to bed. Getting drunk hickeys from her because they were fun. Leaving the party a little early just to be alone before she had to go home. Wishing so much the night wouldnt end when driving her home. How hard it was to leave her house, or when i went to visit her at school. Hanging out with her family because she wasnt allowed out. Freaking her out in the car by driving just a little crazy. Going to friendlys once a week at least. Making fun of almost anything she bought, like yellow sneakers, just because. Teasing her about being a dork and weird. Telling me to Shyuddup, calling me a loser but always with a kissy face at the end.
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Jan. 29th, 2006 @ 07:25 pm And So it Begins...Again
Current Mood: in love
Current Music: The Academy Is...
Ahhh, yet another semester has begun. i finally got all of my applications and what not sent into albany, so now all i have to do is wait. hopefully what i gave them is good enough. if not, this semster should be a good one, and will make up for it. i plan on working my ass off once again, harder then last semester. Last semester turned out good besides failing photo. and the only reason i did was because i was short 4 pics inf my final portfolo. my last roll of film of course did not come out. but this semester i am taking psychology, philosophy, oceanography, and western civ 2. so it should be...interesting.

i was talking to donna tonight, and i was discussing what weekend would be best for me to come up to visit her. i was planning on going up the weekend of the 17th of feb. but to my surprise, and her forgetfulness, i found out shes coming home for 9 days!!! from the 17th to that following sunday!!! that completely made my day, week, maybe even month!!! well, according to donna, it made my 3 weeks, cause she'll be here to make the other one. im really excited.

my band is doing awesome. it now is as follows. our name is somewhere safe. vocals is dave blackmore, bass is myself, guitars are dj and jon, and drums is kev. its finally a full band. and this upcoming week we will be recording and mposting our music up. possibly even making some demo cds. we were supposed to record this past week but there were some complications with kev. this week everything will come together, so be sure to check us out!

ok, i think thats about it for now. peace.
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Jan. 16th, 2006 @ 08:31 pm Oh How Time Flies
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Panic! at the Disco
well, this month has been... different. i dont know, i mean all of the other times ppl have come home for break, its just been so great. and dont get me wrong, it was great to see everyone, especially donna. but it just went so fast, and things were so different. i guess everyone is just growing up. i mean, joe was only home for 2 weeks before he left to go to ireland for 5 months. jon went off to fight the war in iraq for 1 year. it just seems like ppl r going there seperate ways finally. i dunno, maybe its just me. but everything is going different. and it just went by so quick. donna is going back to school already in one week. but i feel like over this month we've become closer. even though we had some serious fights, it brough us closer and more understanding with eachother in the end. i love her more then anything, and i know its the best kind of love there is. it kills me to know shes leaving again, but im ready to deal with it. im already looking foward to seeing her again.

a few highlights of the break were the many parties at djs, seeing donna, seeing donna some more, the poconos trip!!! the trip was great. we got a keg the 2nd night there, and crazyness ensued. a little recap: alot of keg stands, fast pint challenges, tap out, kings, sledding down the stairs into walls on objects life inflatable rafts, a cooler, and life jackets, sporting the bottom to a 2 piece womens bathing suit, waving the flag, and dancing the night away. good times, good times. oh, and the snowboarding with dj, cary, jess, and kristen was a blast too.

well, the month was good overall, and im glad i got to see everybody. we had alot of good times, and i know no matter what happens, the group of friends i have will never go away, no matter what. we'll always keep in touch, and be there. its just that kind of group i guess.
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Dec. 13th, 2005 @ 01:18 pm just a little poetry by me
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: hum of the library silence
i wrote a couple of poems, im really happy about them, if youd like to read them go for it.
(the first one is about Donna, and my feelings toward her, and everything the does to me.)

-The Late Night Lamp Poem-
Her eyes glow brightly nighttime city skylines. One look from her, my boDy becomes liquid form. I cannot mOve cannot speak, incapable. Her skiN, so soft a soul wrapped in angelic silk. One touch from her, my knees quiver, break like ancient twigs. Lips, so perfect blooming rose petals. ONe kiss from her, I cannot think time stAnds still. A girl I've found, so brightly soft and perfect don't let this end... Don't let this go.

(this second one is just about someone who hears voices, and made up personalities, and wishes they would leave him alone, but it is unable to happen.)

-The Wish of Loneliness, An Unlikely Wish-
One to my left
another to my right
Me
Myself
I
Never enter my sight
Never leave my mind
Me
Myself
I
Good morning
Afternoon
Goodnight (sweet dreams)
Never goodbye
Me
Myself
I
Who is she?
What time is it?
Why do that?
They ask
Me
Myself
I
I wish they would leave
I need some peace and quiet
Me
Myself
I
How rude of me
to not introduce
These are some friends of mine
Me
Myself
I
This one to my right
Stewart
and the fellow to my left
Kevin
My
Myself
I...

HOPE YOU LIKE THEM!
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Dec. 12th, 2005 @ 09:52 am "There is a god, and his name is Drunk."
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Incubus- Morning View
Figured I'd update with a little recap of the weekend. ok, so Friday night. Went to DJ's with Ruffini, Drew, and Mark. I volunteered to D.D., so i drove Drew's jeep. The other three got pretty drunk at Matt's house, then wasted at DJ's. Matt could barely stand, so he was a buuunch of fun. We stayed at DJ's till 2:30 or so. On the drive home, I pulled over once for Matt to puke, and once because Drew had the great idea of stopping at the ambulance banr to say hi to Kristen, and everyone else there. We ended up there for like 20 minutes. i Dropped them off at Matt's house, and headed home. Got into bed around 4:00, and had to wake up at 7 for work.

Saturday night- Dan HS picked me and Marissa up at my house around 10 to head over to DJ's. we met DJ and Kevin at the house. But when we got there, we found out that "Beerfest" was some huge party like 15 minutes away. So the 5 of us hopped into Kev's van, and headed over. When we got there, the whole street was lined with cars, including the IHOP parking lot. we parked, and walked down to the house. it was kind of a surprise, because after paying the 20 dollars 910 dollar cover charge, and i had to pay 5 for Kev and 5 for Marissa) we got our cups and walked into the backyard. and it was huge! tons of people everywhere. it was mostly outside, but there was a big tarp acting as a tent, with a space heater, so it was somewhat warm over there. as far as alcohol, there were 4 kegs of rolling rock spread outside, 2 big barrels of jungle juice, in those sport water dispenser things, 2 or 3 kegs inside, and a room inside with strobes, and a full bar. the bar was serving 1 dollar shots of Jager, grey goose vodka, and a whole bunch of other shit. I bought DJ, Kev, and Marissa a shot. By the time we left, me and Dj were wasted. Kevin and Dan had to drive home, but evenw as kevin was a little drunk. We left the party at i dont know, narrowly missing a massive fight breaking out in the streets, and cops. we went to a 24 hour diner, and i had amazing grilled cheese. maybe it was just cause i was sooo drunk, but it was really good. then Kevin drove us to Dj's, dropping DJ off, and Dan drove us home. I was singing incubus all the way home,a nd it was glorious. i got into bed around 5, again having to wake up at 7 for work. fucking tired as hell.

Sunday night i did absolutely nothing. i went to bed at 9:30, because i was completley exausted. i was really happy though because i actually got to talk to Donna Friday night, Saturday night, and last night for a while. i miss her insanely, and CANNOT wait until she gets home. 4 MORE DAYS! ok, well i think i ran out of things to talk about, so thats it for now. PEACE.
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Dec. 6th, 2005 @ 02:28 pm gotta love watching money get flushed down toilets
Current Mood: good
Current Music: boy sets fire
chrissssstmas! everyone gets all happy, and cheerful... so do i, but shopping can suck my balls. i cannot stand it. figuring out what to get someone, that actually means something so they dont just exchange it/break it/throw it away/use it in the first few days. so far i got donna(FINALLY), mama dukes, my aunt and uncle, all done. unfortunatley i still have papa dukes, the butler family, bob, and my secret santa from work. YAY! and as much as i love buying things for donna, it sucks when xmas comes around, cause i never feel like i got her enough, so i just keep buying, and buying, and buying... you get the idea. ya gotta know when to call it quits. and after today, emptying out my wallet on her last gift ;-), i called it quits. willpower, all about will power baby!

band practice once again tonight. the more and mroe we play the better we sound, and its so fucking fun. i love being in a band. goof is doing well at lyrics, the only problem i think were going to have is him writing lyrics. im sure someone else can take care fo that though. and our sound is great, its not specified to anything. but lately, ive been trying to figure something to compare it to. basically, its a mix sounding similar to boy sets fire/thrice/from autumn to ashes/with a hint of straylight run? but yeah, i like it. still no name, but me and kevin are pretty adiment about Somewhere Safe. soon we should be recording a couple of songs, putting it up on myspace, and who knows what else. fun stuff.

ive felt really good lately with donna. i mean i always have, but something feels different this time around. i know it was only a 2 day break up, or whatever, but something feels very different. i find myself not getting pissed about the little things i used to. and in things that are said, i feel like there more solidarity. i dont know exactly how to explain it, i just know it feels really good, and i CANNOT wait for her to get her butt home. 10 more days till shes home.

ok, well i think that about covers for now. have fun!
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Dec. 2nd, 2005 @ 12:10 am When the stars align
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: death cab for cutie
you even just feel like things are going perfect? the past couple of days have been like that for me. Donna called me the other night, asking me to take her back... so i did. And things have never felt better. i love her so much, and i can only hope she got whatever she needed to get out of her system out. i cant wait to see her, and i hope these days fly by. it cant come soon enough. when someone means the absolute world to you though, the days tend to drag by, making it feel like forever.

band practice has been going great. Goof(dan manzella) is singing now. we sound really freaking awesome, im not gonna lie. i love playing. it keeps me busy, and its a blast. i cant wait to start playing shows, and in front of ppl, which should be soon.

i reallycant wait for this semester to be over. getting tired of my classes, and am kind of excited to start my new ones. it feels good to finally kick ass in class. well, getting 80-90's on tests anywayz. well, i guess thats all for now.

p.s.- donna, i love you baby. im so glad things are back to normal. more than you could ever possibly imagine... well, not normal. i feel like some things have changed, for the best.
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Nov. 29th, 2005 @ 02:30 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: halifax
It's amazing how the same person who you love more then anything in the entire world, can hurt you more then anyone. to get to the point, Donna broke up with me last night... well, she called it a break. Because she wanted to experience things, and have a little freedom. she wants to be able to flirt with guys at a bar if they flirt with her... i cant believe im even writing this. but yeah thats basically the reasoning. She wants to make sure that all paths lead to me... yeah. but then i get told that when xmas break rolls around, and she comes home, things will be as good as new. even though a month from then shell be leaving again. so what happens then i wonder? does she realize that i still know shes the only one for me, and stay with me, or do i get to endure the most painful experience of my life a second time... with the same person.

last night i cried for the first time in a long time. i cried all night... literally. i got 30 minutes of sleep. and today, i went through class all day holding back tears, and feeling ripped apart inside. im becoming a wreck, because a truly cant live without her. and i always thought thats what love was about. if you truly love somebody any temptations or anything that come about shoudlnt affect you. yet even after this, donna still tells me she loves me, has always loved me, and always will... it just doesnt make sense. ive been to parties where girls have flirted with me, or other places. i have never once thought to myself "i wish i was single, or had freedom, or could flirt back or do something guilt free." because i was in a love with donna. and i knew that. and she was more important to me then anybody else.

so i guess she needs to get shit out of her system according to her. i dont know. all i know is im a wreck, feeling more hurt then anything imaginable inside. i dont know what else to write without repeating myself, so ill just end it. i hope she knows what shes doing, and i hope its worth it for her in the end.
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Nov. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:03 am can't always have your cake and eat it too
Current Mood: Missing my baby like crazy
Current Music: Midtown- save the world, lose the girl
this week has goten off to a pretty good start. Magee came home Sunday, so him and i have been hanging out, doing nothing. but still, its been fun. today, after my last class before break, Magee, Ruffini, Craig, and myself went to the highschool to pay a visit to teachers, and craig and I needed to pick up our HS transcripts. it was pretty fun, talking to some of the teachers like Doc, Weismann, McKillop, Sferlazza, and Mrs. Carr. and of course, we cant forget Joanne! and after that, we did absolutely nothing but hang out until about midnight, when i went home. this week would be perfect, with two changes. one, galligan should be here. its not the same without him. and two, most importantly, donna should be here. im really upset she isnt coming home for the break. she went straight to her relatives down south, where she'll be staying the whole time. this is the longest her and i have been apart so far in the relationship, and it is really killing me. its been about a month. and it might sound pathetic, or whatever, but i miss her so fucking much. oh well, i guess the best i can do is look foward to christmas break, in a few weeks or so, when i finally ge to see her. and i know shes feeling the same way, which makes it worse. but ill just enjoy this week as best as i can.
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Nov. 17th, 2005 @ 08:40 pm so much to do, so little time
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: The Receiving End of Sirens
the semester is FINALLY coming to an end. actually, it went pretty quick. but now that it is ending, ALOT of shit needs to be done on my part. Ive been running around for the past couple of weeks getting everything in order to send out to Albany. Application, Highschool and college transcripts, you know. hopefully by thanksgiving week I'll have everything mailed out, or set to mail out. I'm pretty nervous, because i busted my ass this semester, i just hope it will be enough. i also plan on majorly busting my ass next semester as well.

I was at Suffolk pretty much all day today until about 5, making up my schedule for next semester. For spring sem., im taking intro to psychology, algebra (yeah, i SUCK at math, but i need a class), oceanography, and western civilization 2. should be interesting. im really going to have to bust ass again though, so i cans end albany another good transcript if for some reason this one doesnt cut it. It should though. By the way things are going in my current classes, Im looking at B's, maybe one C. unless im way off, haha.

otherwise, things have been good. COUNTDOWN: 29 DAYS!!! i cant wait to see Donna over xmas break. it's all ive been thinking about, which i dont know is a good thing right about now, but oh well. that break cant come fast enough.
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Nov. 15th, 2005 @ 11:44 pm "i hope i never let you down"
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Thrice
well, yesterday was quite possibly the most miserable day of my life thus far. i found out donna betrayed our trust by breaking two promises she made to me previously. she confessed to them sunday night. i was completely heartbroken. to find that the one person in your life that you love more then anything, and care about more then anything, and trust more then anyone, has broken that trust, it fucking hurts... bad. and for all of yesterday, i wanted to forgive her so much, but i couldnt bring myself to do it.. it hurt so bad. and she practically begged for me to forgive her. finally though, i forgave her. as far as gaining her trust completely, that might take a little time, but i love her and care about her too much to lose her over this, so i was willing to do it. and last night, we were on the verge of breaking up because neither of us wanted to deal with the hurt we were feeling anymore. it was getting too much. and that was the scariest moment of my life. i thought i was losing her. so i forgave her.

tonight, and today, talking to her on the phone was heaven. she was in a weird, adorable(at times) mood. and honestly, it got a little annoying at times, only because i had a headache. but even still, shes adorable. and i would rather have the type of conversation we had tonight everyday then go through yesterday again. one day of not talking to her, even when she called ot apologize more, it felt like an eternity. but like people say, "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger." and after this fight, i feel like i love her even more for some reason. its weird. but, maybe it just means something. maybe it means that im not supposed to have anyone else, because we seem to get through everything together, coming out more in love, and happier being with eachother. i wouldnt trade donna for the world, she is the best.

band practice tonight was awesome, aside from the headache that followed it. thing are really starting to come along, the songs we have are getting solid. this thursday were going to start working on lyrics i think. DJ wont be present, because his grandfather passed away. we should be able to manage for one day without him though. so far, we have i think 5 complete songs, aside form lyrics. its pretty rad.
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